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Contempt of court in the family court system is a legal mechanism used to enforce compliance with court orders. When individuals fail to follow court directives, such as those related to child support, custody, or visitation, they may be held in contempt. This is a serious matter with significant legal consequences, and understanding the reasons one may be found in contempt, the process of filing for contempt, and the potential penalties is essential for anyone involved in family court proceedings.

Reasons for Being Found in Contempt

In the context of family court, contempt typically arises when a party willfully disobeys a court order. Some common situations that may lead to a finding of contempt include:

  1. Failure to Pay Child Support: If a parent refuses or neglects to pay court-ordered child support, they can be found in contempt. This is one of the most frequent reasons for contempt in family court, as financial support is critical to the well-being of the child.
  2. Violation of Custody or Visitation Orders: A parent who refuses to follow a custody arrangement or denies the other parent their court-ordered visitation rights can be held in contempt. For instance, if a custodial parent prevents the non-custodial parent from seeing the child during scheduled visitation times, it is a clear violation of the court order.
  3. Ignoring Court-Mandated Actions: Courts may require individuals to take specific actions, such as attending parenting classes or undergoing drug testing. Failing to comply with these orders can result in a contempt finding.
  4. Non-Compliance with Property Division Orders: If one party refuses to transfer assets or property as ordered by the court in a divorce settlement, they can be held in contempt.

Filing for Contempt

When one party believes that the other has violated a court order, they can file a motion for contempt with the family court. The process typically involves the following steps:

  1. Documentation: The aggrieved party must gather evidence of the other party’s non-compliance. This could include records of missed payments, communication showing denial of visitation, or other relevant documentation.
  2. Filing the Motion: The motion for contempt is filed with the court that issued the original order. The motion should clearly outline the alleged violations and provide supporting evidence.
  3. Service of the Motion: The party accused of contempt must be served with the motion and given an opportunity to respond. They may contest the allegations, provide explanations, or demonstrate compliance.
  4. Hearing: A hearing is scheduled where both parties present their arguments. The court will consider the evidence and determine whether contempt has occurred. If the court finds that the party willfully violated the order, they may be held in contempt.

Penalties for Contempt of Court

The penalties for being found in contempt of court in family matters can vary depending on the severity of the violation and the discretion of the judge. Common penalties include:

  1. Fines: The court may impose financial penalties on the party found in contempt. These fines are meant to compel compliance and compensate the aggrieved party for any damages incurred.
  2. Wage Garnishment: In cases involving unpaid child support, the court may order wage garnishment to ensure that payments are made directly from the non-compliant party’s paycheck.
  3. Make-Up Visitation: If visitation rights were denied, the court might order additional visitation time to compensate for the missed opportunities.
  4. Modification of Orders: The court may modify existing orders to prevent future violations. For example, the court could alter the custody arrangement to ensure better compliance.
  5. Incarceration: In severe cases, especially where there is repeated non-compliance or deliberate defiance of court orders, the court may order jail time. This is typically a last resort but serves as a strong deterrent against further violations.
  6. Attorney’s Fees: The court may also order the party found in contempt to pay the other party’s legal fees associated with filing the contempt motion.
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Brooke specializes in divorce coaching for protective parents in high-conflict custody cases. As a certified high-conflict divorce coach, my mission is to help provide healthy parents with the information and resources to help empower them to take control of their post-separation lives.

 

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In enmeshed family systems, individual autonomy is In enmeshed family systems, individual autonomy is often relinquished and replaced by the wants, needs, feelings of the disordered person. The enmeshed person(s) often take on the emotions of the other and identify with the wants and needs of the individual to the exclusion of their own. 

It's important to understand enmeshment not only in the context of your relationship with the disordered parent but also your children's relationship with them. (This concept is also often used against protective parents so important to ensure that you are demonstrating appropriate boundaries with your children when third parties are involved.)
In a healthy relationship, people overlap in their In a healthy relationship, people overlap in their shared interests and needs but have their own space to develop as autonomous people. We have the freedom to tell someone no. They may not like it or wish that we would have said yes, but they do not employ manipulative tactics to turn the no into a yes. They respect us as individuals rather than an extension or mirror of them. 

While I would argue this isn't really possible even when co-parenting with a narcissist, this is a helpful visual to try to create needed separation after being enmeshed. You are trying to get to a point where there is little overlap between you and them - but it also means letting go of what they do. It is a really difficult mental shift when you are so accustomed to the chaos and drama of the narcissist. But it is work worth doing.
One of the most powerful visuals my marriage couns One of the most powerful visuals my marriage counselor provided me was this one. In a healthy relationship, partners are like a typical venn diagram where the middle overlaps to varying degrees based on personalities and preferences. In a narcissistic relationship, you become consumed by the narcissist. You may feel like you have autonomy - but just try saying "no" and see how much you actually have! The work once you divorce the narcissist is disentangling yourself from their life and the chaos. It is more than just physical space!
Joan Meier's research into family court is among t Joan Meier's research into family court is among the best in the field. She was in the One in Ten podcast in May 2023 discussing her research, which is worth the listen. 

Of note is this statistic. This is before alienation is even accounted for. The courts - the country - just do not believe women and children. When we think they will listen and protect us, we are already fighting an uphill battle. (And remember your attorney probably holds some of these beliefs as well.) You have to fully accept the reality of family court right now if you are fighting for custody. It's the only way to fight strategically.
Narcissists love to ruin holidays. It's their spec Narcissists love to ruin holidays. It's their special talent. (Want to know how common it is? There are whole Reddit threads on narcissists ruining holidays!) But if you can predict the chaos, you can plan for it. It will not ruin your holiday because you can laugh at how predictable it is.
He might be a #narcissist if... #familycourt He might be a #narcissist if... #familycourt
Attorneys are notoriously bad at guiding clients t Attorneys are notoriously bad at guiding clients through their divorces. They leave out things all the time, under the belief that most people will be cordial and work it out (even though they encounter high conflict cases all the time). Make sure you do your own research on things to include in your parenting plan. Ask others who have been through it what they wish they had included. Think about your kids' particular interests and schedules and make sure there is a plan for them. And, if the kids are young, make a plan for when they are in school. It will happen sooner than you think and what works for a 2 year old, doesn't work for a 12 year old. Free sample parenting plans are available on my website.
I divorced my disordered ex husband when my kids w I divorced my disordered ex husband when my kids were 4 and 7. I spent 10 years in my marriage unaware of the reality of who he was. And when I woke up to reality, it scared me. I had children with this person. My kids have this gene. It scared me. 

The summer after my separation, I created a 100 acts of kindness challenge for my oldest son (who worried me most) after a conversation with Tina Swithin. My son very much wanted a reptile, and I told him that we would get one after he completed those 100 acts. And all through the summer he would get a sticker on the acts of kindness sheet we created as he completed them. He became very helpful at the airport when we were flying, trying to carry the suitcases. He opened doors for people. He gave them compliments. Is it enough to make it intrinsic? Maybe not. But it was a start. It reminded me that this was a skill I needed to teach and reinforce. And having a plan made me less afraid of the possibility of my children becoming narcissists themselves. #worldkindnessday
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