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  • Home
  • Divorce Coaching Services
    • Trial Prep
    • Child Custody Documentation
    • Child Custody Communication
    • Appointment
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  • Divorce Coaching Services
    • Trial Prep
    • Child Custody Documentation
    • Child Custody Communication
    • Appointment
  • Parenting Plans
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Divorce Support for Moms.

Do you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place in your high-conflict divorce with a narcissist or other high-conflict, disordered individual? Do you feel like it’s never going to end and that you spend all of your energy trying to manage a situation that feels unmanageable? Are you trying to protect your kids and feel like no one is listening? That’s where I come in. I am a certified, high-conflict divorce coach who believes in helping empower others to find their own strength to take charge of their case and situation. I use what is known about disordered personalities and the family court system to guide my clients through their custody battles, leveraging strategic thinking, healthy communication, and organized documentation to get the outcomes that make sense for their family.

Schedule an Appointment!

Brooke,

Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach

Schedule an hour with a Divorce Coach

LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW DIVORCE COACHING CAN HELP YOU

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Trial Preparation

Many of my clients are currently in active divorce or child custody litigation and need support with their trial and document preparation. One of the services that I provide to my clients is a review of their documents, including interrogatories, declarations, parenting time proposals, and settlement agreements. While I cannot provide legal advice, I can help my clients organize their documentation into a cohesive story using the most compelling evidence and data analysis. I also help spot loopholes for the high conflict parent to exploit.

Communication

Your communication with your high conflict ex is the heart of your court documentation. It is important to understand how - and when - to respond so that the court can more readily identify who is continuing the conflict. Because of the years of gaslighting, sometimes it takes an outside perspective to see your ex's disordered communication patterns - and your own responses to it. I work with clients to develop a communication strategy that helps support their case.

Documentation

Documentation is the key to success once you are in family court litigation. For those who end up settling out of court, it is often because of their documentation. And having your supporting evidence organized can help new attorneys more readily understand your case. I help clients sort through documentation, categorize behaviors, create timelines with links to supporting documents, and even document after litigation to prepare for custody modifications.

Client Wins

Worked with client to review audio documentation, categorize behaviors, and create searchable transcript for attorney. Worked with client to advocate for pursuing protection order (rather than settling), connect with local DV resources, and follow up with police on possible criminal charges.

Client successfully granted permanent order of protection.
Client successfully granted permanent order of protection.
Worked with client to review emails, texts, and other documentation. Helped client organize documentation and draft responses to interrogatories, which were instrumental to negotiations.

Client won desired custodial schedule in settlement
Client won desired custodial schedule in settlement
Helped client organize documentation with visual representation for the judge showing how much time she was parenting after ex was awarded primary physical custody. Client regained 50/50 custody as well as defeated ex’s motion for full legal custody.
Client regained lost parenting time
Client regained lost parenting time
By creating a battle elsewhere, I helped client leverage her position on an issue she cared less about to settle a custody dispute she did care about.
Client settled ongoing parenting time disagreement
Client settled ongoing parenting time disagreement

Online Courses

Online resources for divorcing a narcissist
High conflict divorce documentation for custody battle
Communicating with narcissist in custody battle
How to profile the narcissist for family court
All Courses

Schedule an Appointment with a Divorce Coach

Schedule an Appointment

What is a High Conflict Divorce Coach?
  • A high-conflict divorce coach helps parents going through a difficult child custody case, whether they are just beginning their battle or have been fighting to protect their children for years.
  • Divorce coaches help you understand the process, talk through effective communication strategies with a difficult co-parent, and help create a documentation system that helps save you time and money when you do consult a lawyer.
  • Unlike an attorney, divorce coaches do not provide legal advice!

Do I need a Divorce Coach?
  • Do you find yourself walking on eggshells, worried that anything you say or do might set off your co-parent?
  • Do you find yourself confused by your co-parent’s communication?
  • Have you consulted attorneys and found that they are not as concerned about your children’s welfare as you are?
  • Do you need someone to listen and understand your concerns about your family court battle?

If you’ve said yes to any of those questions, divorce coaching may be the solution for you.

About Divorce Coaching with Brooke
  • One on one support
  • Help clients understand their custody case and leverage their own personal strengths
  • Personally used strategic thinking, documentation, and communication to win sole custody and terminate ex-husband’s parental rights
  • Graduate of Tina Swithin’s High Conflict Divorce Certification program
  • Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
  • Member of the American Bar Association

Ask a Divorce Coach

A better Every Other Weekend Schedule
A better Every Other Weekend Schedule
September 6, 2024 Ask Brooke, Child Custody, Strategy

An "every other weekend" custody schedule is a common arrangement in shared...

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What does gray rock communication look like in high conflict divorce?
What does gray rock communication look like in high conflict divorce?
September 5, 2024 Ask Brooke, Communication

Gray rock communication is a technique used in high-conflict situations, such as...

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What is coercive control?
What is coercive control?
September 4, 2024 Ask Brooke

Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse that involves patterns of behavior...

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What is Weaponized Incompetence?
What is Weaponized Incompetence?
May 25, 2023 Ask Brooke

I was reading a question this morning in one of the divorced parent groups I am a...

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What are the steps for filing for divorce?
What are the steps for filing for divorce?
May 17, 2023 Ask Brooke

Everything I knew about divorce I learned on bad TV! That's mostly true. I also...

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Conflicting Out an Attorney
Conflicting Out an Attorney
May 8, 2023 Ask Brooke

There are a multitude of personalities when it comes to Family Law Attorneys....

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Contact Me

If you need help with your case, please schedule an appointment. Your email may get lost, and I cannot provide consultation services via email.

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Brooke specializes in divorce coaching for protective parents in high-conflict custody cases. As a certified high-conflict divorce coach, my mission is to help provide healthy parents with the information and resources to help empower them to take control of their post-separation lives.

 

Contact:

Pink Daisy Media LLC
dba Divorce Coaching with Brooke

4225 S River Basin Ave
Boise, ID 83716

brooke@divorcecoachbrooke.com

Disclaimer

Divorce Coaching with Brooke is neither a law firm nor a licensed mental health professional. We are not qualified to give legal advice or make any diagnoses. When we talk about narcissism or sociopathy, it is only in a broader context and not for any one person in particular.

This website is not intended or offered as legal advice. These materials have been prepared for educational and informational purposes only.

Click here for our privacy policy.

 

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In enmeshed family systems, individual autonomy is In enmeshed family systems, individual autonomy is often relinquished and replaced by the wants, needs, feelings of the disordered person. The enmeshed person(s) often take on the emotions of the other and identify with the wants and needs of the individual to the exclusion of their own. 

It's important to understand enmeshment not only in the context of your relationship with the disordered parent but also your children's relationship with them. (This concept is also often used against protective parents so important to ensure that you are demonstrating appropriate boundaries with your children when third parties are involved.)
In a healthy relationship, people overlap in their In a healthy relationship, people overlap in their shared interests and needs but have their own space to develop as autonomous people. We have the freedom to tell someone no. They may not like it or wish that we would have said yes, but they do not employ manipulative tactics to turn the no into a yes. They respect us as individuals rather than an extension or mirror of them. 

While I would argue this isn't really possible even when co-parenting with a narcissist, this is a helpful visual to try to create needed separation after being enmeshed. You are trying to get to a point where there is little overlap between you and them - but it also means letting go of what they do. It is a really difficult mental shift when you are so accustomed to the chaos and drama of the narcissist. But it is work worth doing.
One of the most powerful visuals my marriage couns One of the most powerful visuals my marriage counselor provided me was this one. In a healthy relationship, partners are like a typical venn diagram where the middle overlaps to varying degrees based on personalities and preferences. In a narcissistic relationship, you become consumed by the narcissist. You may feel like you have autonomy - but just try saying "no" and see how much you actually have! The work once you divorce the narcissist is disentangling yourself from their life and the chaos. It is more than just physical space!
Joan Meier's research into family court is among t Joan Meier's research into family court is among the best in the field. She was in the One in Ten podcast in May 2023 discussing her research, which is worth the listen. 

Of note is this statistic. This is before alienation is even accounted for. The courts - the country - just do not believe women and children. When we think they will listen and protect us, we are already fighting an uphill battle. (And remember your attorney probably holds some of these beliefs as well.) You have to fully accept the reality of family court right now if you are fighting for custody. It's the only way to fight strategically.
Narcissists love to ruin holidays. It's their spec Narcissists love to ruin holidays. It's their special talent. (Want to know how common it is? There are whole Reddit threads on narcissists ruining holidays!) But if you can predict the chaos, you can plan for it. It will not ruin your holiday because you can laugh at how predictable it is.
He might be a #narcissist if... #familycourt He might be a #narcissist if... #familycourt
Attorneys are notoriously bad at guiding clients t Attorneys are notoriously bad at guiding clients through their divorces. They leave out things all the time, under the belief that most people will be cordial and work it out (even though they encounter high conflict cases all the time). Make sure you do your own research on things to include in your parenting plan. Ask others who have been through it what they wish they had included. Think about your kids' particular interests and schedules and make sure there is a plan for them. And, if the kids are young, make a plan for when they are in school. It will happen sooner than you think and what works for a 2 year old, doesn't work for a 12 year old. Free sample parenting plans are available on my website.
I divorced my disordered ex husband when my kids w I divorced my disordered ex husband when my kids were 4 and 7. I spent 10 years in my marriage unaware of the reality of who he was. And when I woke up to reality, it scared me. I had children with this person. My kids have this gene. It scared me. 

The summer after my separation, I created a 100 acts of kindness challenge for my oldest son (who worried me most) after a conversation with Tina Swithin. My son very much wanted a reptile, and I told him that we would get one after he completed those 100 acts. And all through the summer he would get a sticker on the acts of kindness sheet we created as he completed them. He became very helpful at the airport when we were flying, trying to carry the suitcases. He opened doors for people. He gave them compliments. Is it enough to make it intrinsic? Maybe not. But it was a start. It reminded me that this was a skill I needed to teach and reinforce. And having a plan made me less afraid of the possibility of my children becoming narcissists themselves. #worldkindnessday
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    • Appointment
  • Parenting Plans
  • Resources
    • Book Recommendations
    • Online Courses
    • Family court dictionary
    • Free Co Parenting Plans
    • Power and Control Wheel
    • Ask a Divorce Coach
  • Appointment

Divorce Coaching with Brooke - 2023