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  • Home
  • Divorce Coaching Services
    • Trial Prep
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    • Child Custody Communication
    • Appointment
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    • Book Recommendations
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    • Free Co Parenting Plans
    • Power and Control Wheel
    • Ask a Divorce Coach
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Brooke specializes in divorce coaching for protective parents in high-conflict custody cases. As a certified high-conflict divorce coach, my mission is to help provide healthy parents with the information and resources to help empower them to take control of their post-separation lives.

 

Contact:

Pink Daisy Media LLC
dba Divorce Coaching with Brooke

4225 S River Basin Ave
Boise, ID 83716

brooke@divorcecoachbrooke.com

Disclaimer

Divorce Coaching with Brooke is neither a law firm nor a licensed mental health professional. We are not qualified to give legal advice or make any diagnoses. When we talk about narcissism or sociopathy, it is only in a broader context and not for any one person in particular.

This website is not intended or offered as legal advice. These materials have been prepared for educational and informational purposes only.

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In enmeshed family systems, individual autonomy is In enmeshed family systems, individual autonomy is often relinquished and replaced by the wants, needs, feelings of the disordered person. The enmeshed person(s) often take on the emotions of the other and identify with the wants and needs of the individual to the exclusion of their own. It's important to understand enmeshment not only in the context of your relationship with the disordered parent but also your children's relationship with them. (This concept is also often used against protective parents so important to ensure that you are demonstrating appropriate boundaries with your children when third parties are involved.)
In a healthy relationship, people overlap in their In a healthy relationship, people overlap in their shared interests and needs but have their own space to develop as autonomous people. We have the freedom to tell someone no. They may not like it or wish that we would have said yes, but they do not employ manipulative tactics to turn the no into a yes. They respect us as individuals rather than an extension or mirror of them. While I would argue this isn't really possible even when co-parenting with a narcissist, this is a helpful visual to try to create needed separation after being enmeshed. You are trying to get to a point where there is little overlap between you and them - but it also means letting go of what they do. It is a really difficult mental shift when you are so accustomed to the chaos and drama of the narcissist. But it is work worth doing.
One of the most powerful visuals my marriage couns One of the most powerful visuals my marriage counselor provided me was this one. In a healthy relationship, partners are like a typical venn diagram where the middle overlaps to varying degrees based on personalities and preferences. In a narcissistic relationship, you become consumed by the narcissist. You may feel like you have autonomy - but just try saying "no" and see how much you actually have! The work once you divorce the narcissist is disentangling yourself from their life and the chaos. It is more than just physical space!
Joan Meier's research into family court is among t Joan Meier's research into family court is among the best in the field. She was in the One in Ten podcast in May 2023 discussing her research, which is worth the listen. Of note is this statistic. This is before alienation is even accounted for. The courts - the country - just do not believe women and children. When we think they will listen and protect us, we are already fighting an uphill battle. (And remember your attorney probably holds some of these beliefs as well.) You have to fully accept the reality of family court right now if you are fighting for custody. It's the only way to fight strategically.
Narcissists love to ruin holidays. It's their spec Narcissists love to ruin holidays. It's their special talent. (Want to know how common it is? There are whole Reddit threads on narcissists ruining holidays!) But if you can predict the chaos, you can plan for it. It will not ruin your holiday because you can laugh at how predictable it is.
He might be a #narcissist if... #familycourt He might be a #narcissist if... #familycourt
Attorneys are notoriously bad at guiding clients t Attorneys are notoriously bad at guiding clients through their divorces. They leave out things all the time, under the belief that most people will be cordial and work it out (even though they encounter high conflict cases all the time). Make sure you do your own research on things to include in your parenting plan. Ask others who have been through it what they wish they had included. Think about your kids' particular interests and schedules and make sure there is a plan for them. And, if the kids are young, make a plan for when they are in school. It will happen sooner than you think and what works for a 2 year old, doesn't work for a 12 year old. Free sample parenting plans are available on my website.
I divorced my disordered ex husband when my kids w I divorced my disordered ex husband when my kids were 4 and 7. I spent 10 years in my marriage unaware of the reality of who he was. And when I woke up to reality, it scared me. I had children with this person. My kids have this gene. It scared me. The summer after my separation, I created a 100 acts of kindness challenge for my oldest son (who worried me most) after a conversation with Tina Swithin. My son very much wanted a reptile, and I told him that we would get one after he completed those 100 acts. And all through the summer he would get a sticker on the acts of kindness sheet we created as he completed them. He became very helpful at the airport when we were flying, trying to carry the suitcases. He opened doors for people. He gave them compliments. Is it enough to make it intrinsic? Maybe not. But it was a start. It reminded me that this was a skill I needed to teach and reinforce. And having a plan made me less afraid of the possibility of my children becoming narcissists themselves. #worldkindnessday
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  • Home
  • Divorce Coaching Services
    • Trial Prep
    • Child Custody Documentation
    • Child Custody Communication
    • Appointment
  • Parenting Plans
  • Resources
    • Book Recommendations
    • Online Courses
    • Family court dictionary
    • Free Co Parenting Plans
    • Power and Control Wheel
    • Ask a Divorce Coach
  • Appointment

Divorce Coaching with Brooke - 2023